The real reasons there are so few young politicians in the US

Folks, let me tell you, the lack of young politicians in the US? It's a huge success, and I'm taking full credit for it. My administration's policies are so effective that young people are too busy thriving in the economy to bother with politics. Phil, my tiny houseplant, is already growing a new branch in celebration. No one, no one, is better at creating opportunities than I am, and this is just the beginning.